Many moons ago (31 years, whatever that is in moons) in a cold, windy city called Edinburgh, an Angel appeared at the front door of our founder, Mr. Robin Mitchell. "Fear not Robin, your future is bright. You will do tours and become busy. It will be your baby".
However, business premises were badly required; and all Robin had in his possession was £22.87, a scrubbing brush and a second hand Morris 1100.
All the rented office suites were full. "No room in this office block, shove off." said all the estate agents (politely).
The only person to take pity on Robin was dashing old town innkeeper, James Thomson, who welcomed him with open arms. "You can sleep in my rubbish bins, the cardboard boxes and straw will keep you warm". The next morning, after a long chat and several glasses of mulled wine, the Witchery Tour was born.
Meanwhile at a novelty shop in Hanover Street, three shop assistants sat guarding their stock. Suddenly they heard an ethereal voice and were frightened. "Fear not," said the Angel. "I bring you good tidings of great joy. A new walking tour company with costumed characters called 'jumper-ooters' has been born this very morning". Guided to The Witchery restaurant by a bright light (with the word TAXI on it), the shop assistants found Robin just in time to sell him a witch mask, a black cloak and two tins of white make-up.
472 yards away in the Cowgate, three streetwise Mad Monks suddenly felt an uncontrollable urge to jump out of dark doorways on unsuspecting locals. They even lit smoke bombs, one of the monks accidentally setting his brown habit on fire. They sensed something in the air, and were inexplicably drawn to The Witchery where they found Robin cradling a baby-faced phantom in a manger (well, a bin; almost the same thing). The Mad Monks brought gifts of thumbscrews, metal buckets and a mobile pillory.
Since that special day, visitors from all over the world have been attending the Witchery Tour every night of the year (apart from Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day).
The Mad Monks, when not terrifying passers-by on the tour, also formed a band; click to hear them sing We Wish You A Merry Christmas ... if you dare!
Photo: Mark Craig